How Not to Start Your Day

Eee-gads! I look at my alarm clock and cannot believe my eyes. It’s 7:20 and the damn thing did not go off at 7, which is the time I set last night, since our Liberty Coin guests requested early breakfast, prior to departure. I leap out of bed, toss my nightgown into a corner, grab a dress from the hook, step into a pair of panties. In the kitchen, the dishes await, snug in the dishwasher. I flip on the coffee machine, then the oven, grab the ingredients for scones: flour, butter, egg, milk, vanilla. Without a cup of coffee, I cannot think straight, so some of these details may be a bit approximate, but I know the next thing I did for sure was to start filling the breakfast tray with everything needed for the table outside: dishes, napkins, sugar bowl, silverware, creamer, granola, yogurt in dish, vase with flowers.

That’s when Sven enters the kitchen. I have just poured myself a cup of coffee.

“My alarm clock didn’t work,” I hiss. “Can you help? Here. Clean the table outside.”

I thrust sponge and dish towels into his hands. Provide a tablecloth, too. Upstairs, I can hear the guests moving around. They will be down any second. I have turned back to my scones. I’m doing the recipe in double-time. If I can get them in the oven fast, perhaps the guests can enjoy eating this yummy pastry at the end of their breakfast?

Out the window, I could see Sven dutifully cleaning the table, had I taken the time to look. He must be half-awake, too. I have almost finished chopping the butter into the flour when he appears behind me a few minutes later and picks up the breakfast tray to transport it outside, something I have done every day this summer and for several summers for that matter, without mishap.

I’m busy with my scones. In go the cranberries. I start scooping out the mixture, filling the scone-pan triangles. Suddenly there’s a huge clatter behind me. I swerve to see Sven crash into a chair, having tripped over something. The tray flies out of his hands onto the table, mixing yogurt, granola, and flower water. There’s glass in the granola, yogurt on the flowers, orange juice all over the place mats.

Time to take a deep breath and start over. We remove everything from the tray, fill it again. Sven gets the table set as the guests walk outside.

I serve them the scones, but not the backstory.

The scones were tasty as could be.