Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Guest-blog: My Eroded Memories of the Cape

Today, the 18th day of the Blogathon, I am happy to present Alisa Bowman, who blogs at Project Happily Ever After. Along with hundreds of her fans, I follow Alisa’s daily adventures in marriage-land and look forward to the 2011 publication of her book, Project: Happily Ever After. In this guest-post, Alisa touches on a phenomenon I have noticed here at the B&B. Often guests choose Wellfleet because of the childhood memory of a Cape Cod vacation. Perhaps the same is true for you?
Please join me in welcoming, Alisa! ….

Not long ago, I was with my five-year-old at the science museum, near where I live in Pennsylvania. She was playing with sand and water—part of an exhibit designed to teach her about erosion. “If you want to learn about erosion, we should visit Cape Cod,” I found myself saying.

Soon memories were surfacing. There I was as a little girl. I was with Dad and my brothers and we were listening to a guide tell us about the Cape and about how someday, before we grew up, the hook at the end of the Cape would no longer be connected to the rest.

That, my friends, was quite the deep moment for us kids. I believe our exact words were, “Wow.”

Let’s just move beyond the fact that the hook still seems to be attached to the rest of the Cape even though I am now quite grown up. It’s possible our nature guide exaggerated on the timeline. It’s just as possible that I didn’t hear him correctly (after all, I somewhat remember also being told, at some point, that killer bees would invade the north and kill off every single one of us before my 20th birthday).

And, might I posit that it’s also possible that this is a sign from God.

At any rate, my point is this: the memory gave me pause. It did because it was warm and fuzzy. It was the kind of memory that I could wrap around myself on a cold, dreary winter’s day.

My family vacationed up and down the northeast coast and throughout most of the country when I was young. We piled into our station wagon and drove for hours and hours. During these hours us kids frequently complained about who was touching whom. Occasionally one of us peed our pants or threw up.

Every so often Dad threatened to pull the car over if we didn’t shut up already. But, without fail, we eventually arrived at our destination, which was almost always a campground. There we would all sit on the car’s back bumper as Mom timed Dad to see how quickly he could assemble our family’s tent.

Dad hoisted tents in Virginia Beach, various beach towns in New Jersey, The Badlands, Yellowstone National Park, Rocky Mountain National Park, The Grand Tetons, Acadia, Lake George, Quebec, Bar Harbor, Rockport, and the Cape.

He was a chemist by trade, but, when on family vacation, he was the Quickest Tent Putter Upper in the US.

Mom, a visual artist, had a particular affinity for the Cape, so Dad put up a lot of tents in that area, usually in campgrounds outside of Provincetown.

As Mom spent many hours each day with her paints and her canvas, Dad took us kids to whatever activity he could find. Occasionally it was the beach, but more often than not it was a nature excursion or lecture.

It was during these outings that I learned about lichen, erosion, plovers, and various sea creatures. We learned about beach grass and about dunes. We learned about those plastic rings that came attached to six packs at that time, and how they were killing sea life.

And those are among my fondest memories of my childhood.

As I watched my daughter play with the erosion exhibit, though, I realized that I had not passed such memories on to her. I owned a tent, but I didn’t know how to assemble it.

More important, I had not taken her on hikes or nature excursions. In the seemingly endless quest to balance work with family, I’d resorted to whatever vacation time seemed easy and mindless. She’d been to the beach. She’d been on a cruise. She’d visited relatives in various states around the country.

But she had not attended a single nature hike.

Shame on me!

That, my friends, will change.

It has been a joy to meet and get to know Alexandra online. I look forward to, one day, meeting Alexandra in person and visiting her in Wellfleet. I probably won’t hoist a tent because I’m quite soft in my adulthood and have become attached to hot showers and nearby toilets.

But without a doubt I will share with my daughter the same gift Dad gave to us kids while on the Cape.

If you are hoping to do the same for your kids, here are some places to check out: Mass Audubon’s Wellfleet Bay Wildlife Sanctuary, Cape Cod Museum of Natural History in Brewster, Green Briar Nature Center in Sandwich, Waquoit Bay National Estuarine Research Reserve.

Comments (23)

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Growing up on the Cape I spent all my summers at the beach!
Our large working class family took one vacation together and that was to a lake in NH which I still remember.
Years later, I went to meet a new client at their business, walked in the gate (Story Land) and got a huge blast of deja vu.
Somehow, I'd moved north to the area of that one vacation.
I love basking in childhood memories! Our vacations revolved around the Ozarks and is probably the reason I love it here so much!
No question that my childhood memories of vacations in Wellfleet and Truro are what made me a lifelong lover of the Outer Cape. I don't believe a summer has gone by since childhood that I have not spent at least a weekend on the Outer Cape. When I was first dating my husband, I brought him to the Cape to make sure he loved it, also! And my kids have been there for at least a few days each summer, even as adults. It is the one place my whole extended family gets together each year---during July and then at Thanksgiving. And when we finally had the opportunity to buy a vacation cottage in 2004, we bought our little cottage in Wellfleet.

Where are those photos taken? Newcomb, Cahoon or LeCount? (Not that I am likely to see your reply, but I will check back at some point!)
1 reply · active 775 weeks ago
The photos were taken at Newcomb where there's dramatic erosion of a clay deposit, to the right of the parking lot as you walk onto the beach.
What a lovely memory of growing up. I grew up on the beach, so my memories don't involve car trips to get here- and now I realize how very lucky I was to have the beach so close by. It had a huge influence on my life, and I miss it every day. I do remember the car trips to other places all around the N.E. Vacations seemed more leisurely and eaiser when I was a child; perhaps that is because there were less choices and the time was less hectic and rushed.
Oh family vacations are the best! I so loved this post and your memories. Even more, I enjoyed the way these memories have pushed you to do more for your own daughter!! Excellent!!
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I'm also a follower of Alisa's blog and looking forward to the publishing of her book. Thanks for having her as a guest Alexandra. She writes vividly and I could picture her family packed in the station wagon as they drove to their next destination. Bravo Alisa! My daughter is only two, but you gave me something to think about.
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i was laughing at your characterization of the family ride in the car, with dad ending the tomfoolery by threatening to pull the car over. hysterical! great roll down memory lane for me, even if my family traveled up to wisconsin for vacation. similar car rides and memories. nice to meet you, alisa:)
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That must have been peaceful...watching your mom paint as you grew up.
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Wow, it sounds like you got to see so much growing up. We went to Virginia beach and Florida and the mountains of West Virginia. That was our traveling triumvirate!
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I first visited the Cape as an adult - with kids in tow - so hopefully my kids will have fond memories of it as well. It is a stunningly beautiful place.
I spent my high school years in Virginia Beach and loved the "local" north beach there. Fond memories!
Well, I must be one of the few bloggers that have never been to the East Coast. Putting it on my list of things to do: when my kids grow up and leave...

Nice job.
I too have suddenly had the realization that I've neglected to pass along to my kids something that was an important mainstay of my own childhood. For me it's not so much nature walks as lakeside camping trips and that whole summer in the mountains tradition. It's so easy to forget to nurture those memories! Thanks for the reminder!
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Although I grew up in Massachusetts, I don't think I visited the Cape until my college boyfriend took me to his family's summer rental on the Cape. My grandparents had a summer house in Maine, so we always drove up there for long weekends. I do remember "camping out" in the backyard with my Dad, though. Not exactly roughing it when the bathroom and kitchen is just a few hundred feet away!
I was especially captivated by the image of a mother painting outdoors. My mother was also a painter, but never outdoors. Do you have any of her works to compare how the area is the same or how it changed? Very nice post.
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1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago
Hi, Meredith. I took the photos two weeks ago, of a lone woman, painting the erosion at Newcomb Hollow Beach, and the images seemed like the perfect illustration for Alisa's guest post.
It is the little things that make the best memories..

Barb
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Thanks for the timely reminder -- summer vacation looming peeps -- about what we might like to pass on to our kids. Hiking in nature is big with me.

And here I was feeling all warm and fuzzy snuggling my pre-teen son as we watched his fav show last night, Glee. This in a family that didn't own a TV for more than 10 years & forbids idiot box watching mid-week. What can I say? Sometimes the rules are made to be broken.
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Some of my fondest memories are of hiking with my dad (mom wasn't into it). I think your daughter will cherish these memories too
Hiking together does create wonderful memories. Ken Burns shared that part of his desire to film/produce the National Parks documentary for PBS was a trip to a national park with his dad as a child.
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Jennifer Margulis's avatar

Jennifer Margulis · 774 weeks ago

I have really fond memories of the Cape too, and I desperately want to bring my kids there some summer, if possible. Thanks for this post, Alisa. It's so fun to read you on Sandy's blog!
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Isn't it something how childhood memories of vacations stick with us? I truly hope that I'm offering such memories to my kids - but maybe without dad yelling at them to stop bickering in the backseat (that seems universal, too!).
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